A most difficult time keeping a governess
by bloomandgrow
Summary: Maria is determined to find out from Georg about the governesses who preceded her. She's willing to use any means necessary. In this crack fic, it turns out that some of them were rather well known.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a spoof/crack fic. You will need to suspend all belief for this. It's just a bit of silliness really.**

 **A huge thank you Mucwriter, for organising the Pro-boards Holiday Calendar.**

ooooOOOOoooo

 _ **Chapter 1: "Make my happiness and I will make yours"***_

"Darling?" Maria nestled against Georg's chest. They lay stretched out on the sofa together in his study watching the amber flames flickering in the fireplace. Shadows danced around the walls in the soft glow.

"Mmmm?"

"Since it is nearly Christmas I thought perhaps you could grant me a special wish."

"Anything in my power, my love. You know I would give you a sky full of stars or capture a moonbeam in my hand for you if I could."

"Well it's nothing as difficult as that. I just want you to tell me about the previous governesses."

Her request was met with stony silence. Only the crackling of the fire could be heard, hissing and popping in the grate.

Maria coaxed him gently. "I don't know why you won't tell me. Why do you become all buttoned up and brusque and terse? You start bristling and get that annoyed scowl on your face whenever I ask." She lifted her head to look at him. "Yes, just like that." She lovingly stroked his furrowed brow, smiling teasingly.

After a moment Georg spoke, using his adamant not-to-be-disobeyed tone. "No Maria. I've told you before. Absolutely out of the question. I don't want to talk about them and I am not going to. It is all best forgotten."

"Oh but-"

"That is my final word on the matter," he said firmly, cutting off Maria's protest.

She lay back down on his chest, feeling cross at his intransigence. She contemplated what to do, her natural inquisitiveness was tormenting her. The more he resisted, the more desperately she wanted to know. She chewed on her lip thoughtfully for a while until a simple strategy came into her head. An impish smile formed on her mouth.

Perhaps if Georg had been able to see the spark of delighted challenge in his wife's eyes it may have given him pause. It would have at least been a warning that he probably wouldn't stand a chance against Maria's determination in this instance. She had defeated his resolve on more than one occasion.

"Oh but darling please, don't you think just this once? I simply don't understand why you won't talk about them. Why is it such a secret?"

"Some things are best kept in the past and not dwelled upon, especially unpleasant memories. So don't try to wheedle it out of me. It's not going to work."

With her cheek resting on his crisp white shirt, Maria could hear the deep velvety rumble of his voice through his chest as he spoke.

She sighed. "The curiosity is torturing me. Just one little story, that's all I ask. The children have dropped so many hints about their governesses but I only really know about Fraulein Josephine who told Friedrich he was impossible, and Fraulein Helga who had a dress uglier than mine."

"No, Maria, that's final. I am not going to discuss them."

ooooOOOOoooo

 _3 days later_

Georg woke up blearily from a nap. His sleep had been refreshingly deep after he and Maria had spent a rapturous afternoon together, taking advantage of the fact that Max had agreed to take the children to the Advents Market for some Christmas shopping.

After some crude negotiations involving a couple of bottles of outrageously expensive Chateau Lafite from Georg's Bordeaux wine collection, Max had agreed to keep the children occupied until dinnertime. Georg and Maria had enjoyed every moment of their time alone, lost in the bliss and wonder of married life.

Georg smiled to himself remembering what had happened before the nap.

He made a movement to rub his eyes and then froze in shock.

He was astounded to realize he couldn't move his arm. It seemed to be restricted. He tried to move his other arm, but that too seemed to be caught.

For an uncomprehending moment he just lay there in stupefied amazement. He stared at his arms as if he couldn't believe his eyes: each was tied at the wrist to either side of the bed.

 _What the hell?_

His mind seemed to have gone blank. He felt stunned and incredulous. His legs, he noticed, were unrestricted. He flexed his arms, the ribbons around his wrists did allow limited movement as he moved them, but he simply couldn't understand what had happened. For a moment he wondered if he was still dreaming.

"Erh hrm."

He craned his neck behind him as Maria gave a small cough to get his attention. She was sitting perched on a chair, wearing an expression of cautious triumph. There was glee, playfulness and excitement in her eyes but also a definite hint of anxiety as she bit her lip.

He was speechless. Had she really done this? Tied him up? His lovely, alluring, guileless wife? How on earth did she even know about such things? Although she had been an eager and enchantingly passionate partner in their bedroom she still had an endearing innocence and naivity about her. Surely she did not know about such risqué activities?

But perhaps he was wrong about that, he thought with the mix of awe and delight as he stared at her. She had certainly been thrilled at her feminine power to render him helpless with need, but this was something else altogether.

"Maria, what are you doing?" he asked carefully.

"Intelligence gathering."

"What?" He looked at her blankly.

"Well, you've been so stubborn about not telling me about the other governesses, I've had to resort to drastic measures."

He stared at her, nonplussed, for a moment. He was not entirely sure she understood the more sensuous implications of what she had done. But, _dear God_ , she was adorable. "Ah, I see. And what exactly do you intend to do?"

"I found this book in the military section of the bookshelf in your study. You thought I would never look at those books, didn't you? But you were wrong." She smiled triumphantly as she held up a book on interrogation techniques. "I know all about getting information, through er… unsavoury means."

"I see." Unsavoury? It was becoming clearer that she really did _not_ understand the implications of tying him up, at least not in the sense he was hoping.

He was curious and amused, his mind still full of enticing possibilities. She always managed to surprise him. "And now that you have me where you want me, what are you going to do?"

"I am going to tickle you until you tell me more about the governesses." She held up a long feather that had come from a boa that Brigitte loved to prance around in.

"Tickle me?" he said distastefully. "Maria, I despise being tickled, you know that."

"But that's the whole point isn't it?" she asked, confused. "After all, I could hardly do something that you would enjoy." She looked at him, perplexed.

He looked up at the ceiling, amusement warring with disappointment. Just as he suspected, she had no clue about what this might mean for an adventurous amorous couple. Although he felt a small twist of disappointment, there was still delight and anticipation, mixed with an adoring surge of love for his wife. She made his heart ache with her beguiling innocence and bold impulsiveness.

He chuckled. "You may find my darling, that pleasurable torture can also achieve laudable results."

She looked at him, puzzled. "What do you mean? And why are you laughing?" she asked crossly.

He smirked. She always got annoyed when he acted mysterious and enigmatic as a result of his considerably greater experience in life and love. He could tell she was suspicious that he knew things about the situation that he was not disclosing, but she had no idea what they were.

"Never mind, I'll explain a little later. So, this is why you suddenly wanted me to teach you how to tie reef knots, hmm? I did wonder about your peculiar interest in nautical skills."

She smiled smugly, pleased w outwitting him. "I could tell you had no idea what I was planning."

He looked amused at her pride. "So, you are going to tickle me? That's the plan?"

"Well you're lucky that I am not going to do anything that they said in this book. Some of the ideas were quite mean, and frankly horrible."

He laughed outright. "I don't think we will ever need your services in military affairs, my sweet. You are far too soft hearted to be an intelligence operative."

"Humpf, I assure you, you will find this very unpleasant. Unless you talk." She wielded the feather dramatically. She went over and sat on the bed, drawing the feather delicately across his stomach and making the muscles clench and his skin quiver. He gritted his teeth in reaction.

She was doing her best to sound authoritative. "Alright let's start near the beginning. Why don't you tell me about governess number four?"

"I'm not talking." Georg smirked again, flexing against the bonds. He was impressed that she had tied them so well while he was asleep. He was usually more alert. He must be slipping.

"Darling, I have a feather and I am not afraid to use it," she threatened again, theatrically.

But he just shook his head, his mouth sealed tightly, though it was slanted with amusement.

"Alright, you force me to do something that you will regret."

She had probably been practicing her sinister tone from that toad Zeller, Georg realized, trying not to laugh again.

He braced himself. He really did hate to be tickled. Such an awful, hideous feeling. He wondered if he could persuade her to do something else. But it was too late.

He let out a string of profanities as Maria was merciless, using fingers and feathers ruthlessly, finding all the sensitive ticklish spots she had discovered long ago. He squirmed in horror and discomfort even as he laughed in spite of the vile sensation. She was laughing in delight as he struggled against his bonds and swore and cursed furiously.

She paused for a moment, laughing helplessly. "Hah! So, it's true what they say about sailors!"

Georg gasped with relief as she stopped, his chest heaving. "What? That we are brave and virile?" he panted.

"No, that you know the worst swear words. Shall we begin once more?" she asked with delectable menace.

"Urgh," he shuddered as if he had just been offered pink lemonade, laced with….lemonade. The thought of another round was unbearable.

"Alright, alright, I'll talk." Damn, how he loved her, he thought with tender amusement. Every day of their married life so far, she had amused him, enthralled him and surprised him. She could still be unpredictable, but he wouldn't change anything about her. She made him laugh often, and filled his heart with joy.

"What was her name?"

"Governess number four was called Fraulein Jane."

Maria raised interrogative eyebrows, the laughter dancing in her eyes despite her solemn expression.

"Fraulein Jane Eyre."

"Go on."

"She was English. I wanted the children to be able to keep up their mother-tongue. But even I found it damnably difficult to understand her English. It seemed very old fashioned – lots of 'thereofs', 'whereofs', 'hithertos'. It was all very flowery and eloquent of course, but quite often when she said something she would render me speechless. I could only stare at her blankly, wondering what the devil she meant."

Maria smiled, trying to imagine the governess.

"She was quite a severe young lady, very solemn, almost morose. At least she dressed that way. She always wore a bonnet, and had terribly old fashioned, dark clothes. When I told her she should put on something else before she met the children she spoke in such a peculiar manner that I could only gape at her like an imbecile and let it go."

"Oh, what did she say?" Maria asked, delighted.

"Something like 'My attire, good sir, is entirely befitting of a person of my station. Your request confounds me and my self-esteem is wounded by such a discourse. It is indeed dreadful to me, to countenance such views.'"

Maria laughed, remembering her own initial confrontation with her beloved Captain over her attire. "She sounds perfectly wonderful."

"Hmmm. Well you would say that, wouldn't you? Now that I think about it there were quite a few similarities with you."

"Oh really? You didn't fall in love with her too did you?"

"Of course not, I don't engage in dalliances with my staff," he objected haughtily.

Maria raised ironic eyebrows.

"I may have fallen in love with you when you were in my employ but I did not act upon it," he stated loftily.

Maria kissed his indignation away. "Tell me how she was like me."

"She was similar to you in that she also did not have family and she was quite independent and feisty. And she was nosey like you too."

"I prefer curious," Maria asserted with dignity.

"No, nosey," he contradicted dryly. "Prying into rooms that should not be disturbed. It got on my nerves. Several times I found her prowling around the attic rooms, rattling door handles and listening at the door. It was very odd. When I told her to desist, she looked at me with such suspicion. It was almost as if she thought I might have someone locked in the attic. Can you imagine? The audacity of the woman! She also had the unmitigated gall to question me closely about Agathe."

By his tone, the outrage was as fresh as if it had happened the day before.

Maria hid her smile. Her husband really had had a great deal of trouble with his governesses, she realized, even before she - Maria - arrived and turned his world upside down.

"The children didn't really know what to make of her. She seemed competent enough I suppose, but a little bit 'other-worldy' as if she didn't really belong. There were some odd things too. She barely knew what a car was. She always wanted to travel in a horse and carriage of all things, which as you know is hard to find these days."

"What was she doing before she came to you?" Maria was intrigued by the mysterious Fraulein Jane Eyre, and rather thought she might have liked her a lot.

"She worked previously for an Englishman called Mr Rochester and looked after his ward Adele. She didn't say much about him but he seemed a bit mysterious and brooding from the few cryptic things she mentioned about him. I rather suspected she may have fallen in love with him because her eyes would light up when she said his name. But she spoke of him with such an air tragedy and her eyes seemed haunted. Of course I did not pry. I have no interest in the private lives of my staff. I just want them to do their job competently. But nevertheless, she did seem heartbroken."

"How sad," Maria murmured in sympathy. "It seems I wasn't the first governess to fall in love with her employer. Perhaps this Mr Rochester was courting someone else, or engaged, or even married."

Georg snorted and shrugged indifferently. "I don't know. I really don't see what women see in such complicated, brooding, intense men."

"Yes, they can be so very difficult," Maria agreed sagely, then looked back at him with faux innocence as Georg regarded her with narrow-eyed suspicion.

"What happened to her?" she asked, fascinated, trying to distract him.

"She just ran off one night! I couldn't believe it. We were talking about the children's lessons one evening and she seemed to have some sort of turn. She got this strange look in her eyes and just murmured "Edward, I'm coming my love, wait for me. I'm coming." And then she dropped everything and fled out the door." His tone was incredulous.

Maria gasped, her hand at her mouth.

Georg's eyebrows were furrowed with remembered disbelief. "Just like that - she ran off into the night!"

"Oh, how dramatic and romantic and tragic. Isn't it a coincidence? So, I wasn't the only governess to leave in the night." Maria sighed wistfully, remembering her own heartbreak and confusion so well. This young lady seemed like a kindred spirit.

"Hrm, mmm." Georg muttered uncomfortably, remembering his own role in causing his beloved to flee in distress. If he hadn't been tied up he would have scratched his neck awkwardly, but instead he had to be content with only flexing and twitching his fingers.

"So what happened then?" Maria asked, enthralled by the story.

"I had to run after her. It was cold and foggy and God knows what could have happened to her. And of course she didn't go on the road like a sensible person, but cut through the fields. I hurriedly changed into my riding clothes, saddled up one of the horses and raced after her." He shook his head, dumbfounded.

"When I found her, I berated for leaving like that and said if she really wanted to leave I would give her the train fare to go where-ever she wanted to go. Then I put her on a train to Calais, and gave her the fare for the boat trip to England."

He snorted, irritably. "Governesses! They have given me nothing but trouble. You can see why I don't want to talk about them," he griped.

Maria smoothed his brow tenderly. "Yes, you do seem to have had an awful lot of trouble with them. It's lucky I came along to save you from all this drama. But did you ever hear what happened to her? I hope her love story had a happy ending, like ours."

Georg was mollified as Maria kissed him lovingly. "She sent a letter a few months later. You'll find it in the drawer over there."

Maria got off the bed and after rummaging around found an envelope addressed to Mr von Trapp. She giggled. "People do seem to have trouble calling you Captain," she said with amusement, as her husband grunted his annoyance.

She opened the letter and read aloud:

Ferndean House

England

Dear Captain von Trapp

It pains me to remember the precipitous way I left your employ and caused you grievous disadvantage. May I beg forgiveness good sir. I can only explain that my soul was suffocated with longing and my oppressed heart was filled with yearning to return to my homeland and my beloved. The pain of exile was sharp and wicked and rendered me incapable of sensible thought. I had but one thought and it was of return.

You may recall my previous employer was a Mr Rochester. Captain, I married him, and I can only hope that you too, may one day experience the divine tranquility of love, as I have done.

 _I know what it is to live entirely for and with what I love best on earth. I hold myself supremely blest - blest beyond what language can express; because I am my husband's life as fully as he is mine.*_

Your faithful servant

Jane Rochester.

Maria finished reading with tears in her eyes. "She married him," she said joyfully. "How wonderful to hear of another love story, so like our very own." She put the letter down and wrapped her arms around Georg as he lay prone, still bound up on the bed, unable to wrap his arms around her too.

Maria sighed, overcome with emotion. "What beautiful words: 'I am my husband's life as fully as he is mine.' That's exactly the way I feel about you."

"I suppose it is a rather nice love story," Georg admitted reluctantly as Maria kissed him at length.

"It's almost as beautiful as ours." Maria sniffed, still moved by the story of the fourth governess.

She leaned over and softly kissed one of his wrists, bound by the ribbons. "Let me untie you now."

"No, darling, I think not. At least not yet. There are some things I want to explain to you." Georg's eyes were gleaming with anticipation, and brimming with love and need.

Tenderly, patiently he explained the potentials of his current predicament, amused at her shock and her deep blushes. But even more, he was enthralled at his wife's delight in the possibilities it presented for the rest of the afternoon. There were still a few hours before Max and the children would return from their Christmas shopping trip.

He did indeed feel supremely blessed as he too experienced the divine tranquility of love.

ooooOOOOoooo

 **A/N**

 **I did warn you it was goofball and unbelievable…**

 **I hope no Jane Eyre fans were offended by this spoof, it was written with great affection for my favourite love story (equal to TSOM).**

 **I was inspired by two beautiful Jane Eyre linked stories: 'The fortune teller' by Augiesannie and 'Romance comes full circle' by** **indigobluefwriter.**

*The chapter title and the words in italics in the letter are a direct quote from Charlotte Bronte's 'Jane Eyre.'

I do not own TSOM or Jane Eyre.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: More goofiness ahead. Thanks so much for the lovely comments. I was nervous about posting such a wacky story so your thoughts were very much appreciated.**

 **oooOOOOoooo**

 _ **Chapter 2: "The key to a solid marriage is laughter"***_

"Children, if you need any help with wrapping Christmas presents after school, I know your mother has been perfecting her knots. She is particularly good at the reef knot." Georg kept his expression bland but he had a devilish look of amusement in his eyes.

Maria did her best not to roll her eyes at her husband's subtle taunting. Only she knew the hidden meaning behind his words. He had been ceaselessly teasing her since their delightful and very enlightening afternoon a few days ago.

She could feel the blush rising in her cheeks for the hundredth time as she remembered the events that had led to her finding out about Governess number 4, and what had happened afterwards. Thankfully the children had no idea what their father might be referring to.

Georg continued his underhand teasing mercilessly. "But darling," he enquired innocently. "Are you sure we have enough ribbon? I believe you have been using the ribbon for 'other' purposes?"

He was quite the comedian, Maria thought crossly.

"I am sure we have enough," she responded evenly. Then she smiled sweetly, "Why don't you help us with the wrapping? Or will you be _tied up_ later?" She watched with satisfaction when he choked on his coffee as he spluttered over his chuckle.

He recovered quickly enough. "I may have some time later. I have some things to do but I am not _bound_ to them."

The children looked puzzled as he laughed, though by now they were used to their parents laughing over obscure things. Just the fact that their father laughed so much these days made them happy in itself.

He gave Maria an unrepentant smirk and then retreated back behind his morning paper. She was sure he was chuckling silently behind it.

Well she had another surprise in store for him once the children left for school. Let's see if he would still be laughing then, she huffed indignantly.

ooooOOOOoooo

Amid a flurry of kisses and hugs and excited chatter about the coming Christmas holiday, the children were bundled off to school. Maria headed to the kitchen to get what she needed.

She found it: a bowl with four big luscious-looking strawberries.

While Georg did not have much of a sweet tooth, he was partial to strawberries, as she had found out over the summer. She remembered his deep sighs of pleasure, especially when the strawberries were accompanied by champagne.

But strawberries in December were hard to come by. Maria and the gardener had only managed to find a few hard white-green berries on the withered plants in the greenhouse. While the two of them had gazed dubiously at them, Maria had not given up. With cook's help and a lot of red food colouring they now looked authentic: plump, succulent, ripe, as if they were bursting with juicy sweetness.

She found Georg in the study and sat on his lap. "Darling I have another surprise for you. It's in the bedroom."

Georg's eyes darkened with hunger as she kissed him. "Indeed? Well lead the way my love. These engineering designs can wait."

In their room, he took off his suit jacket and tie and Maria made him lie on the bed. He clasped his hands behind his head as he waited. "Should I get the ribbons?" he asked with laughter in his voice.

"No need," Maria replied airily. "I have something better." She unveiled the bowl with a dramatic flourish.

"Strawberries?" His eyebrows rose in astonishment. "In December? It's er…too late for strawberries. And they aren't even blue."

"Blue?" Maria looked puzzled.

"Friedrich has a theory that when it gets cold they turn blue. But never mind. How on earth did you manage to get strawberries at this time of year? I _knew_ you were an enchantress."

Maria smiled mysteriously. "Just tell me about another governess and they are all yours. Look how sweet, lush and juicy they are. For me they are like the taste of a gorgeous summer day."

She made a production of picking one up and smelling it as if it were ambrosia. Then she slowly bit into the end of it, tantalizingly, enticingly. She instantly regretted it. The sour taste was eye-watering. But she hid her wince and continued to pretend it was delicious.

Georg was hooked, she could tell. He was staring obsessively at her mouth, at her lips wrapped around the strawberry. He looked like a starving man with his first sight of food. She could tell his mouth was watering by the way he swallowed. He was completely speechless and she saw with satisfaction that his breathing had quickened.

"Mmm, mmm. Delicious," Maria murmured as if the taste was heavenly. Even though her instincts were to spit it out the bitter fruit she forced herself to swallow it. "Now Governess number seven. Tell me about her."

"For heaven's sake Maria, still with this governess thing? Couldn't you see from Governess number four, there's no point in dwelling on these things?"

"I loved the story of Governess number four. She sounded perfectly wonderful. Now governess number seven….?"

She placed another strawberry near her mouth, tapping it softly against her lips. She could see his resistance ebbing away as his eyes were fixated on her mouth. He sighed in defeat.

"Alright, Governess number seven hmmm? Let me think." Georg rubbed his chin with his thumb and finger.

"Ah yes. I remember now, and for the love of God, I wish I didn't. It was horrible. It's all coming back to me."

Maria put the strawberries on the bedside table and lay on the bed next to him, wrapping her arms around him. Her curiosity was piqued even more at his words.

"Her name was Mrs Doubtfire, Mrs Euphegenia Doubtfire."

"Doubtfire? That's an unusual name."

"Quite, and believe me she was an unusual lady," he grunted. "I suppose she was fine at the start, though she had this annoying habit of calling me Dearie and Poppet even though I told her many times to call me Captain. She was a surprisingly large lady with a soft Scottish brogue accent."

"Oh how lovely. A Scottish accent is so soothing. I could listen to it for hours."

"Hmmm. But she spoke it with a strange high-pitched trill. Even more oddly, once when she shouted – you know I can't abide shouting – her voice suddenly turned into this great booming baritone. And another time, she dropped something on her foot – and she swore, like a… like a…"

"Sailor? She swore like a sailor?"

"Yes, she practically turned the air blue. Thank goodness the children weren't around. It was most disconcerting to hear an old lady swearing like that. If I hadn't been so surprised I would have fired her on the spot. And she could drink like a sailor too. After the children were in bed she would down a whisky in seconds."

Maria listened, fascinated, as he continued.

"Things were fine for the first few days even though she was quite bizarrely unladylike. Louisa and the boys loved her because she could kick a soccer ball like a champion and run extraordinarily fast for such a big and rather elderly lady. She loved playing sport with the children and she would often sit with her knees far apart – very unladylike as I said. She was very warm and maternal with the children but after a while we started noticing even more peculiar things about her."

Maria's eyes were wide with curiosity. "How intriguing. Like what?"

"Well first Friedrich burst into my study one day. The poor boy was in a terrible state. He said that he had accidently barged into the bathroom when Frau Doubtfire was there and she was er….standing up."

"Standing up?" Maria echoed, puzzled.

"Yes, you know, standing up."

"Oh."

"Exactly what I said. It was most peculiar. I told Friedrich he must have been mistaken and to be more careful and always knock before opening the door. But it did seem odd."

"Go on."

"After that I started noticing other very unusual things about her too. In the evenings she would get a shadow across her face almost like….er…. stubble. I think the poor lady had a hormonal imbalance problem because I happened to be close enough to look at her face once and I could see the beginnings of a beard. It was confirmed later when I passed her in the hallway in the morning and she appeared to have remnants of shaving cream on her chin and cheeks."

"Oh, the poor thing," Maria said compassionately as she lay on his chest.

"But the worst thing was, one day I was following her up the stairs and she hitched up her long dress to avoid tripping over it. Oh Dear God! I can still picture it after all these years." He put a hand over his eyes as if to block out the horrifying image.

"She wasn't wearing stockings. She had the hairiest legs I have ever seen, other than on that gorilla at Vienna Zoo. She was completely hirsute, poor thing. Not her fault obviously but still…"

He paused as he felt Maria's body shaking against his chest.

"Maria are you crying?" His voice was tender as he stroked her hair and planted a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "That's very sweet of you. You always have such a soft heart. But I really don't think Frau Doubtfire was bothered by her problem. She seemed quite confident, audacious even."

Maria lifted her head, tears of laughter in her eyes, as she broke into helpless peals of giggles.

"You're laughing," he accused, affronted. "It's not funny. It's obviously not her fault, the poor thing, but Holy Mother of God, those images are still burned on my mind no matter how much I try to erase them."

Maria wiped the tears out of her eyes as she looked at Georg adoringly. She cradled his face and kissed him on the mouth. "Darling did it ever occur to you that maybe Frau Doubtfire might have been a man?"

"What? A man? Don't be ridiculous, of course she wasn't a man," Georg scoffed. "She wore dresses and she had a female shape. She was quite er…. buxom as it were. She wore that thick powdery stuff on her face - make-up. A lot of it. Layers and layers of it. Not every woman can be as naturally beautiful as you. It's a little uncharitable of you Maria," he frowned at her.

Maria continued to laugh at her clueless husband. "For such an intelligent man you can be astonishingly unperceptive when it comes to women. Think about it: she had evening stubble, she would swear and drink, she played sport like a champion and had no idea how to sit like a lady and she sometimes spoke with a deep voice. I am sure she must have been a man in disguise."

"A man?" Georg spluttered. "That's preposterous. Of course she wasn't a man. The very idea!" he snorted. "She was a woman. I'm sure of it."

Beneath the bluster he was faltering and Maria could see the dawning horror in his eyes as he tried to convince himself. "No it's not possible. Why on earth would a man dress up like a woman and want to be a governess? She was so loving with the children. She was most definitely a woman," he repeated again, but the certainty was gone from his voice which made Maria laugh even harder.

There was a silence while he tried to digest this and Maria tried to get her giggles under control. "But why the devil would a man do such a thing?" he muttered, appalled.

"Well perhaps he liked children, or needed the job, or maybe he was divorced and wanted to spend time with a family?"

"Divorced? This is not Henry VIIIth's England. You know divorce is illegal in Catholic Austria."

"You did say he or she was foreign." Maria stroked his cheek soothingly. "So what happened?"

"I started drinking again. I had stopped for a while, but oh god, after those legs…. My eyes, my eyes." He shuddered again.

Maria collapsed with laughter on his chest once more, and it was a while before she was calm enough to speak. "No I meant to Frau Doubtfire, what happened to him?"

"Eventually she…he resigned after about a week. She said that she wanted to pursue career in silent motion pictures. It seemed rather unlikely to me but I was just relieved to see the back of her….him. I didn't ask too many questions."

"Well thank you for telling me darling. Was it terribly difficult to re-live all that?"

"Yes it was rather."

Maria shifted her leg and guided his hand down to it. "Does this help?" she asked sympathetically, though her eyes were still sparkling with laughter, as he stroked the silky soft, smooth skin.

"Yes, that does help," he sighed blissfully. "Ah much better."

Maria smiled secretly to herself. The children had mentioned some of the other nannies' names to her and she tried to think how she would get more information out of her obstinate but sometimes malleable husband.

What were their names again? They were quite unusual. One was called Nanny MacPhee, … and what was the other one? Ah that's right: Mary Poppins.

She would have to come up with some more ideas, but she was interrupted in her thoughts by Georg.

"Now, let's have those strawberries." He reached for the bowl.

Oh dear. Maria hadn't thought this far in her plan. She hopped off the bed. She decided it might be best if she left the room.

"Er… let me just see if Franz has some champagne to go with them."

She was almost at the door when she heard the horrified exclamation from Georg.

"Urgh. Maria, these are awful!"

She was just opening the door to flee when it was pushed firmly shut again by a masculine hand above her. For a big man, he could move surprisingly fast.

She turned around to look at him, trapped by his arms against the door, her face a picture guilt and mirth.

"You tricked me," he growled with mock outrage.

"Well you _know_ it's far too late for strawberries. Whoever heard of strawberries at Christmas?" she defended herself as she started to giggle again.

At the glint of revenge in his eyes, she ducked under his arm and fled towards the bathroom, laughing helplessly as he chased after her.

ooooOOOOoooo

 **A/N: If you have seen Mrs Doubtfire you will know that she/he was played by the beloved Robin Williams who was very hairy. If you haven't seen the film there's a youtube clip with Aerosmith playing 'Dude looks like a lady' with scenes from Mrs Doubtfire. It's great for a laugh.**

 **May I wish all the readers and writers in the TSOM fanfic community Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays, and a peaceful and joyful 2018.**

*Wisdom from Mrs Doubtfire

I do not own TSOM or Mrs Doubtfire


	3. Chapter 3

**Happy New Year! I hope it's a wonderful year for everyone in the fandom. Thanks so much for the feedback for this pretty crazy story.**

ooooOOOOOoooo

 _ **Chapter 3: "If you want changed behaviour you have to admit to doing something wrong"***_

"You're far away. Where are you?" Maria came in to Georg's study through a side door, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he sat in his chair. She bent down and kissed the top of his head and then the back of his neck. She realised he had been staring dreamily at a photograph in his hands.

Georg gave a guilty start and hastily put the photo face down on his desk. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and turned his head to look up at her with a wary smile. Maria eyed him suspiciously. He looked as if he had just been caught dancing the laendler with someone he shouldn't be with.

He made a weak attempt to distract her. "Oh hallo. It's been rather chilly this evening hasn't it?"

"Well it _is_ January, and if you ask me you seem rather hot and bothered. What were you looking at just now?"

"Er uhm, nothing really."

At her skeptically raised eyebrows he muttered, "Oh alright, alright. If you really want to know, I was thinking about _her_ again. My first love," he admitted reluctantly.

Maria sighed and came around to face him. He pushed his chair back so she could perch on the top of his desk in front of him. "Again? Really darling, this is becoming an obsession for you." She retrieved the photo from where he had slipped it under a book and looked at it curiously.

"I know. I'm sorry, I can't help it. She's been coming to me a lot in my dreams recently. I was only 18 when I first saw her, and well that first love has etched itself on my life forever. She was so utterly gorgeous, so beautiful, it still makes my heart ache to think of her."

He sighed wistfully. "I remember when I first saw her, it was as if everything stood still in that moment, I could hardly breathe. I had never believed in love at first sight before. But it was a moment of such profound intensity that I knew I would never the same. She was so beautiful. She had a shape that was so exquisite, so sublime, with luscious curves that made me yearn to touch her and be close to her. I knew I would never be able to rest until she was mine. And once she was mine, I couldn't let her go…. even after I married Agathe."

Maria could hear the guilt in his voice. "You told me Agathe understood about your need to be with her too."

"Yes, Agathe was an angel. She was very tolerant of my needs. I had been very open with her and she knew if she married me there would be three of us in our marriage; that I would need to go to her and be with her sometimes too. It didn't mean I loved Agathe less," he said defensively.

"And Agathe didn't mind that you have so many pictures of her – even in your study?"

"She was very understanding, though of course there were times when she hated it when I went to her."

Maria looked at the picture again and she hid the amusement in her eyes, trying to understand her husband's obsession. In truth, she thought his first love had been quite unattractive and rather grim looking, but she could never tell him that. "She was quite ….er…" she searched desperately for an appropriate compliment as she studied the photo. "…shapely," she said lamely to her besotted husband.

It seemed to work because Georg sighed blissfully. "Yes, she was," he said with pride.

"Well darling, most people would look at this picture and just see a U boat. But I can understand that the U6 was so precious to you."

"She was a work of art, a feat of engineering genius, a marvel of modern technology. Look how streamlined she was." He pointed to her hull, with wonder in his voice.

"She could cut through the water at up to 12 knots, and dive so gracefully she caused hardly a ripple. She saved my life on more than one occasion and she was so hardworking and loyal. Only I knew how to handle her well."

Maria was amused at the smug masculine pride in his voice.

"My Second Officer had a devil of a time with her because she could be so skittish and volatile. But with me, with the right touch, she would purr like a kitten and just glide through the water."

He looked at her guiltily. "You don't mind, do you? That she will always have a special place in my heart?"

"I think I can live with it," Maria responded, suppressing her mirth. She kept her eyes on the photo so he wouldn't see the laughter dancing in her eyes. How could she be jealous of a great rusty hulk of metal and pipes? She thought his obsession with his silly boat was quite adorable. No doubt Agathe had similarly indulged him, Maria thought, feeling a kindred bond with his first wife.

But then Maria's mood darkened and her eyes grew stormy as she suddenly thought of things she really did feel jealous about. She could feel that now familiar sickening twist in her stomach as she looked at him severely.

"But what _does_ bother me is how many of your old flames we seem to run in to whenever we are in Salzburg. I am beginning to think _that_ is why you dislike social gatherings so much, because you seem to be constantly tripping over women from your past."

She watched as he squirmed with discomfort.

"Oh, uhm..about that…. I _am_ sorry darling. I've apologized many times and of course I can never apologise enough," he added hastily as he continued.

"It was just a horrible coincidence that we would see two of them in one day last week. And then it was just bad luck there were three of them at the von Graf ball last month. It must have been a fatal aligning of the stars or something. It was long ago, before I even met Agathe. I was young and stupid and only thinking with -." He cleared his throat and paused, fumbling.

"Well …er never mind. You know how young men are. Oh right, no, you don't. Thank God! That is, I mean…" he trailed off as he realized he was digging a bigger hole for himself.

He sighed regretfully, clasping her hands in both of his and kissing them tenderly as he kept his eyes on hers. "You know I would never want to hurt you or embarrass you by having my past indiscretions catch up with us. I really am sorry."

Maria looked at him still feeling partly cross. She did hate the hideous stabbing feelings of jealousy in her chest whenever she came across his former liaisons. That was the downside of falling in love, she had realized belatedly. Imagining him doing the things he did with her, with them, made her feel vulnerable and insecure and horribly upset, despite his reassurances.

But it had been a long time ago, before Agathe whom he had loved so dearly; and she did not feel jealous of Agathe. Instead she felt touched at the depth of his love for his first wife, so why should she worry about what had happened in his youth? At least that is what told she herself, over and over again. But still, it was another thing entirely to actually come face to face with ladies from his past; especially when they all seemed so beautiful and sophisticated.

What did amuse her though, even through the horrible jealous feelings, was what an open book Georg was. He often said she was so easy to read, but the same was true of him, at least now that she knew him so well. He was hopelessly unable to hide his awkwardness in these situations. The suave sophistication and effortless debonair charm just seemed to vanish.

She knew a gentleman's code of honour meant that men never discussed the women they had been with, and she might never have even realized when they inadvertently met one of his old flames if he hadn't been so terrible at hiding his unease. It was almost endearing.

At the von Graf ball for example, her radar was up immediately as he had looked around and then started muttering curses under his breath. She was then treated to the full repertoire of his curious mannerisms when he was uncomfortable: fingers twitching, collar-pulling, neck scratching and a sudden inarticulateness as he coughed and hemmed and hawed. Maria had almost been expecting him to purse his mouth into a tuneless whistle, but then she saw the source of his discomfort. An elegantly beautiful lady was approaching them with a predatory smile.

Perhaps it was only Maria who had sensed his tension through the veneer of sophisticated small talk, as he had slapped his dancing gloves against his thigh. After the Countess had left them it only took one look from Maria before he confessed that he had had an affair with her when he was a ridiculously young Naval cadet.

To his credit he had spent the rest of the evening at the ball being lovingly attentive and murmuring reassurances in her ear as she had held her head up high and tried to exude a confidence she did not feel. He ignored the protocol that they were supposed to separate and mingle, and instead stayed with her, the love and pride in his eyes obvious to everyone. But his misery had been almost comical when he spotted two other former loves. They left soon after.

She looked at him now, looking guilty and troubled. She took pity on him.

"I think I can forgive you," she said magnanimously. "But perhaps some penance would be in order."

"Name it darling. Anything. A thousand kisses perhaps? A bathtub full of rose petals? What were your favourite things again? Kittens, wearing mittens? Doorbells in brown paper packages? What about that pony eating cream and apple strudel? Or was it schnitzel in a copper kettle?

Maria giggled as he got the words of her song horribly mixed up, marveling at his ability to lighten her mood. "You've got it all wrong," she laughed. "Luckily for you I have a whole host of new favourite things since we married, though of course I can't tell the children about any of them," she added saucily.

Georg gave her that seductive slanted smile that never failed to stop her breath and make her heart race. "Tell me how I can make it up to you then and we can keep adding to the list."

"Well, why don't you tell me about Governess number six, and oh, the thousand kisses would do quite nicely too."

He snorted wryly. "I should have guessed that's what you would ask for. Do we really have to do this Maria? I am still recovering from the shock after the revelations about Frau – Herr Doubtfire."

He sighed with resignation as she nodded resolutely. He drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair and Maria watched as his face changed, a scowl coming over his face at the disagreeable memories of his former governesses.

"Alright then," he conceded with ill grace. "Governess number six arrived in the middle of the children's reign of chaos. They had really started playing up by this time and none of governesses seemed capable of disciplining them properly."

"What was her name?"

He frowned as he rubbed his chin with a finger and thumb. "Do you know, I really can't remember. She gave herself a strange title, and that's what stuck with me. She called herself 'Super Nanny.' Odd, really."

"That _is_ an unusual title," Maria agreed.

"Things didn't get off to a good start. For the first few hours she did nothing. Absolutely nothing! She just stood there observing the children running amuck instead of disciplining them. She just watched with a judgmental look on her face. That resulted in our first argument – I told her I had employed her to discipline and look after my children not to just watch them being unruly street urchins. She rather rudely told me she needed to observe them first to see what we were all doing wrong. Of all the blasted nerve," he muttered irritably.

"One thing we did agree upon was the need for structure and order. That's the reason I didn't fire her straight away. She was very keen on rules and discipline, but we just had very different ideas about what those rules should be. And she was very critical of me. She spent a great deal of her time scolding me and telling me I was a bad parent. She even said that I was like a nineteenth century father," he said, affronted.

Maria kept diplomatically silent. After all, she had also criticized his parenting, but this Super Nanny didn't seem to have been able to get through to him.

"Every evening she would lecture me on things that I had never heard of. I didn't have the faintest idea what she was talking about: some things called 'time-outs', power struggles, star charts, communication zone techniques, being on the same page – whatever that means. I was beginning to wonder why the devil I had hired her since she seemed intent on making _me_ do _her_ work for her in looking after the children."

His dissatisfaction was clear in his disgruntled tone.

"I remember Kurt and Louisa spent a lot of time on what she called the 'naughty step,' and with the amount of scoldings she gave me I am sure she wanted to put me on it too. Infuriating woman."

Maria couldn't suppress a giggle at that.

"We were constantly at loggerheads. She was really quite rude to me, and insubordinate too. She annoyed me so much that I went off to Vienna more often but she was always waiting, ready with a reprimand and a lecture for me whenever I came back," he grumbled.

"So what happened with her?" Maria tactfully refrained from commenting on what the Super Nanny had said. No doubt she had had some valid points but Georg clearly had not been receptive to them.

"Well that was the really annoying thing. She just announced one day she was leaving but would return in a few days to see how I was doing. _How I was doing?!"_ he repeated in outrage. "Of all the blasted impertinence! She then gave _me_ a long list of things she thought _I_ should do. Damned impudence!" he griped.

"I told her if she was going to leave, not to bother to come back. She couldn't just decide to come and go as she pleased. I needed a full-time governess. But she said there were so many other families who needed her help too. Needless to say we parted company, and not amicably."

Maria could see the annoyed scowl on his face and decided she had better soothe him. She hopped off the desk to stand between his legs while he sat in his chair, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Thank you for telling me darling. Every time I learn a little about the governesses it helps me understand you and the children a little better. It's not just that I am nosey," she smiled playfully, "though that is a big part of it. But the Reverend Mother told me that the Lord would show me in His own good time why it was so difficult keeping a governess, I'm just giving you little prompts to tell me more. We already know why the children were playing so many tricks, but I need to know about the governesses too."

Georg still looked disgruntled, even as she stroked his hair tenderly. "Hurmphf. I'd rather not talk about them. They gave me nothing but trouble."

But then his mouth twitched into a sardonic grin. "But the worst of the lot was Governess number 12. Wait until you hear about her: infuriating, undisciplined, saucy, cheeky, impulsive. She really drove me mad."

"Poor you," Maria murmured sympathetically, her eyes sparkling with laughter. "That must have been just awful for you."

"It was. Eventually I had to marry her to save the Abbey from chaos and the poor Reverend Mother from all her headaches."

"That was very noble of you."

"Yes it was rather wasn't it?" he agreed with a martyred air. "No doubt I will get my reward in heaven."

Maria laughed at his teasing. "Speaking of heaven, why don't you start on the other part of my reparation for your dissolute past – those thousand kisses." She leaned down to kiss him, deepening the kisses until she felt the tension leave his body.

"You know you have nothing to worry about, about my past, any of it, don't you?" Georg told her softly, as she leaned her forehead on his.

"I know, but I couldn't resist taking the opportunity to get another governess story out of you," she smiled at him teasingly as she reached down to start undoing his tie. "Now what were you saying about a bath? I don't think we will be able to find rose petals at this time of year but what about a steaming hot bath with an ice-cold flute of crisp champagne?"

"What a charming idea. That's one of _my_ favourite things," he smirked.

"I know."

ooooOOOOoooo

 **A/N: There are a couple more famous governesses to come but I am taking a break from this story to work on my other one. Thanks so much for reading and I would love to know your thoughts, (and at what point you figured out about his first love).**

*quote from Jo Frost, Super Nanny

I do not own TSOM or Super Nanny


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** **Thanks so much for the very kind feedback.**

 **ooooOOOOoooo**

 _ **Chapter 4: "Oy vey!"**_

"No, Max." Georg rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"But why not? it's a wonderful idea. It's fresh, it's original. It will be a sensation."

"Max, somehow I recall making it quite clear how I feel about a book being written about our family."

"But Georg, think about it, it's a wonderful story."

"Max, what part of no didn't you understand? I can't think of anything more horrifying than having our private family life exposed to the public. There will be no book."

"But the story is extraordinary. It's got everything: nuns, Nazis, singing, music, mountains, all those beautiful children, a miserable old sea captain who happens to be a war hero, and an adorable governess who falls into his clutches. And all of them singing like angels with their beautiful voices. The public will love it. It's like a real-life fairy tale."

Georg shook his head dismissively as he poured drinks, not even bothering to respond. But Max wasn't ready to give up.

"It would be a runaway best seller. They might even make a movie of it. Can you imagine if Hollywood in America got to hear of it? I just _know_ they would make it into a motion picture. Why, you might even be played by Clark Gable or Cary Grant or Gregory Peck. We'd have to use artistic license to make you seem a lot nicer though," he added cheekily. "I promise you, generations of women will be swooning over Captain von Trapp for ever more."

"Thank you Max, for pointing out so precisely all the reasons why I do not want a book written about my family."

Max continued on regardless, gazing into the distance, his hands up framing a rectangle like a camera shot. "And Maria, why, she could be played by Grace Kelly or Judy Garland or Ingrid Bergman. Just imagine it: the actress who plays Maria could start on the top of the Untersberg, twirling around wearing her habit, surrounded by the magnificent glory of the Alps."

"No, Max."

"There could be shots of Nonnberg Abbey and the beauty of Salzburg. The film would be something so extraordinary, so unbelievable, so magical, the whole world would fall in love with it. It would capture people's hearts forever."

Georg raised a derisive eyebrow. "Your fevered imagination is getting out of control. Don't tell me you fancy yourself as a motion picture director now? The answer is no."

Max sighed. "Well you can't blame me for trying."

Maria came into the room. "Can't blame you for trying what Max?"

Georg responded dryly as Maria kissed him, "Trying my patience. As usual."

"Maria, please try to talk some sense into Georg will you? I've been telling him that you really must write a book about your story and your family. It will be marvelous. It's like the most enthralling of fairy tales: a love story, a family story, a story of heroism, patriotism…"

"Oh Max, I really don't think anyone would be interested in us," Maria laughed at the thought, as she settled next to Georg on the sofa. He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head as she nestled next to him.

"Au contraire, my dear. Trust me, it's a story that everyone would love. Just think if that grumpy old husband of yours was played by Errol Flynn!"

"Errol Flynn," Maria sighed dreamily. But then she looked up to see the narrow-eyed gaze of her husband and hastily added "… is not nearly as handsome as you are darling. And you're not old either. Though the grumpy part…."

She trailed off teasingly, as Georg retorted dryly: "Good save, Maria."

Maria cupped his face and kissed him lovingly as she laughed, forgetting Max was in the room until Max cleared his throat dramatically. She blushed and stopped immediately.

Georg said sardonically, "Oh are you still here Max? We had forgotten all about you."

"As usual," Max responded cheerfully, unperturbed. "I'm used to it. Now where were we? We were just agreeing about Maria writing a book about her story and your family. It could be translated into English and then I am sure Hollywood in America would be interested in it. How could they not? It's a story that will set the whole world on fire."

"I did _not_ agree Max, and I will not. It's absolutely out of the question. The very idea is nonsensical," Georg replied irritably.

"Oh but it _is_ fun to dream about it, though I'm sure no-one could possibly be interested in us." Maria giggled at the thought. "All those American movie stars seem so glamorous."

Georg shrugged indifferently.

Maria's eyes were sparkling with wonder. "Just imagine if one day, we might even get to visit America. It seems like such an enchanting place, full of people with hopes and dreams of a better future, where anything is possible. Do you know, I've never met an American? I am sure they must be terribly exotic."

"I've met a few Americans," Georg murmured. "Very friendly people. But the one I got to know the best was really quite unusual. I am sure she wasn't typical at all. Governess number nine was quite a character."

"One of your governesses was American?" Maria squeaked in surprise. "Oh how lovely," she said, captivated. But then she looked at him indignantly. "You never told me about that before! Getting governess stories out of you is like getting blood from a stone," she complained.

"Oh didn't I mention it before?" Georg responded innocently. He rubbed his chin. "Mmm, I thought I did."

"You know you didn't. What was she like?" Maria asked eagerly.

"Yes, tell us Georg, and then we can get back to the subject at hand," Max agreed, sipping his drink.

Georg threw him an irritated look. "Alright then. Well, I admit when she arrived on my doorstep I was rather desperate. Governess number eight, Fraulein Gertrude, had just fled screaming into the night after two of my 'adorable' little fiends had dressed themselves in sheets and pranced around her room making mournful ghoulish sounds in the middle of the night."

Maria tried to look suitably stern, but her love for the children shone through instead. "Oh the naughty little dears," she said lovingly, her eyes bright with laughter.

Georg just grunted in response. "Governess number nine was quite unusual as I said. I'd never met anyone like her before, and I haven't since. Rather an acquired taste I must say. As soon as I met her she described herself to me as a "pushy broad from the red apple.""

As Max and Maria looked mystified, he shrugged. "Yes, I didn't understand it either, but apparently 'broad' is the American word for woman, and the 'red apple' is New York. Or was it Big Apple?" He tilted his head as he mused. "Anyway, it was quite an education meeting her. I learned all kinds of phrases I'd never heard before."

"What was her name?" Maria asked, bursting with curiosity.

"She called herself Miss Fine. Fran Fine from Flushing, Queens, New York."

"How fascinating. Tell us more about her."

"She talked non-stop. My God that woman could talk! I learned far more about her in the first few hours than I know about Max after thirty years. But, God in heaven, I didn't want to know any of it. It was always 'yadder, yadder, yadder' with her."

As his companions looked puzzled again, he translated. "I think it means talk, talk talk."

"What did she look like?" Max asked, intrigued.

"Let's just say subtlety was not her strong point. She had big – very big - hair, piled on her head and she wore bright red lipstick and tottered about in insanely high heels. All her clothes were ludicrously tight. They must have been at least two sizes too small and too short for her."

"How marvelous," Max observed, enthralled.

"When she first arrived she was wearing some shockingly bold clothes. Of course I told her she should put on something else before she met the children, but she changed into so many different outfits – all of them equally inappropriate and flamboyant - that I finally gave up. I think she had about twenty suitcases full of them."

"Oh she sounds delightful," Maria giggled.

"Mm, I think I'm in love already," Max agreed.

Georg scoffed, "You wouldn't be the only one. The boys were completely mesmerized by her. They hadn't met anyone like her before: so flashy and showy. They followed her around like love-sick puppies. The girls enjoyed her too, because she just seemed to want to talk about boys and clothes and girl things all the time. They thought she was riot. I, on the other hand, did not."

"Why not?" Max asked. "She sounds rather adorable."

"Well for one thing she was always late for everything." Georg looked pointedly at Maria.

Maria put a nonchalant look on her face as if she didn't have the faintest idea what he was talking about. "Really?" she asked innocently.

"Yes, I don't know how it is possible, but at least two of my governesses were always late for work - despite living in the same house as the children," he said dryly as Maria bit her lip with a guilty smile.

"And another thing was that she was so frivolous and flaky, and completely fixated on marrying a rich man, though thank God she showed no interest in me. But I am sure she was the one who filled Liesl's head with all that ridiculous romantic nonsense about boys, parties, champagne," he grimaced.

Maria refrained from pointing out it was all just part of a young girl growing up.

Georg went on, scowling. "And it wasn't just Liesl either. She seemed to want to drag all my daughters down that path. I remember one time she got the girls all dolled up, wearing the most ghastly dresses, and they had make-up plastered to their faces. Can you believe it? Even the little ones!" he said, distastefully.

He didn't notice as Maria and Max exchanged secret amused looks.

"They all looked like damned showgirls, with big hair and lipstick, mincing about in ladies' shoes. I arrived home unexpectedly, and hit the roof of course. But Fraulein Fran seemed unperturbed by it all. She said it was just a bit of fun and that I should "lighten up already," whatever that means."

Max chuckled. "I have a feeling I know what it means."

Georg ignored him. "I wasn't the only one annoyed by her. She really seemed to rub Franz up the wrong way. It was partly her terrible nasal voice and partly her outrageous sense of humour. And dear God she had a laugh that could stop a charging elephant in its tracks. It sounded like a cross between machine gun fire and a donkey braying."

Maria and Max listened, entranced and amused, as he continued.

"She seemed to go out of her way to get on Franz's nerves, claiming that he wasn't nearly as much fun as the butler in her previous place, Giles, or Niles or something. She would make jokes all the time that Franz didn't understand and it would make him livid."

Maria privately thought Franz didn't have a sense of humour at the best of times. He was always so dour and disdainful, she could just imagine him being riled by Fraulein Fine.

"What kind of jokes?" Max asked intrigued.

"Oh you know, things like: "Franz, quick! Get a doctor!" and Franz responded: "Why Fraulein, what's happened?" And she replied: "because I'm thirty and still unmarried!" Then she doubled up laughing her hee-haw laugh while he just stood there baffled and enraged."

Max chortled. "Poor Franz."

"Or another time she said: "Franz, would it have killed you to give us a good wine?" As he looked offended, she started to whine in her dreadful nasal voice about the weather or some such thing, and then said "There, I've done it for you. Ya' can thank me later."

Every time she made one of her awful jokes she would poke Franz in the ribs, which would infuriate him even more. I almost felt sorry for him. If she had stayed much longer I am sure he would have had an apoplexy."

Maria suppressed her mirth as her husband looked unamused.

"Who did she work for before?"

"She talked incessantly about her previous employer, Mr Sheffield. I knew everything about him too, and I wish I didn't. Even when we were supposed to be talking about the children's lessons, it was all about her unrequited love for that blasted man. As if I gave a damn," Georg muttered, aggrieved.

"I had to keep snapping at her: "Focus, Fraulein Fran!" and then she would reply mournfully that I sounded just like him. She had been in love with him for years and he had been foolish enough to tell her he loved her, but then he took it back apparently. Not that I can blame the man. She would have driven anyone mad."

"She sounds delightful," Maria objected. "And it's terrible that this Mr Sheffield didn't return her love. How could he have taken it back?" she said indignantly.

"Dear God, that's what she said a hundred times a day! She kept wailing that he had plunged a dagger into her heart and it was twisting inside her every day. God the theatrics of the woman! It got on my nerves. Honestly, I couldn't care less. I just wanted Miss Fine to be a good governess to the children, but she seemed rather deficient in most subjects except hairstyles and clothes and something she mysteriously called 'dating.' I don't know what it is but I have my suspicions."

"I'm glad the children liked her so much. She sounds like she was a lot of fun," Maria smiled. "What happened to her?"

"The Sheffield chap just showed up out of the blue. Apparently he had crossed the Atlantic to find her."

"Oh how romantic," Maria said delightedly. "What was he like? Dark, intriguing, intense?"

"Hurmpf. He seemed like a bit of a dandy to me – coiffed hair that he obviously spent far too much time combing, tailored suits, and he claimed to be an English aristocrat."

"Sounds vaguely familiar," Max chuckled quietly into his drink as Georg threw him an aggravated look.

"There was a big dramatic scene when he arrived. Fraulein Fran screamed with joy, flailing her arms wildly and then she ran over to him in her ridiculously high heels. I swear I thought she would break her neck before she got to him. She kept shrieking:"Mistah Sheffield, Mistah Sheffield, you came for me!" Frankly I'm surprised he didn't turn and flee in fright at that dreadful nasal voice. I've heard love is blind, but in this case, it must have been deaf too," Georg muttered disagreeably.

"Oh, he chased after her! All the way across the Atlantic. How wonderful," Maria said happily.

Georg looked uncomfortable, remembering how he hadn't chased after Maria when she fled in distress to the Abbey. He cleared his throat guiltily and continued even more irritably.

"In the middle of all the commotion, he got down on one knee and proposed. In front of everyone. Can you imagine? I thought the British were more stoic and reserved than that!"

Maria gasped with delight and Max's mouth dropped open in surprise. "Well that was dramatic."

"Yes it was. I could have done without all that melodrama. My five girls were jumping around in various stages of hysterical rapture, while Fraulein Fine was screeching: "Oh My God, Mr Sheffield, this is so sudden!'"

Georg rolled his eyes. "I don't know how she could possibly say that, the man had been dragging his feet for six years apparently. Whereas I, only took six weeks to propose," he said loftily.

Maria smiled at his smugness. She thought it best not to remind him that their romance had hardly been plain sailing either. She leaned up to kiss his cheek adoringly and sighed happily. "Oh I do love the stories where the governess is swept off her feet and carried off into the sunset by her dashing employer."

"Which is exactly why you should write a book about your story," Max intervened craftily. "Everyone loves a love story."

"Maaax!" Georg warned him, his brow beginning to furrow.

Maria sighed wistfully. "Oh darling, hearing about her makes me want to visit America even more. It seems like such a fun place, with such delightful people. Maybe one day…."

"Well with the way things are going here, we may have to leave Austria one day. We may very well end up somewhere else," Georg said moodily, staring into his drink.

As usual, Max misjudged Georg's mood entirely whenever Georg thought about the current political situation. He spoke flippantly.

"Which is all the more reason to write a book about your story Maria. It's your ticket to Hollywood. I can still imagine the closing scene, it could be one of those big romantic screen kisses that they always finish up with as the scene fades."

"Oh for the love of God, Max! I thought the governess story would distract you but you are like a dog with a damned bone." Georg snapped, getting to his feet in anger.

Seeing that the lid was about to blow off Georg's temper, Maria stood up too and hastily placed a soothing hand on his chest and reached up with the other to stroke his face.

"Oh sweetheart, Max is just teasing us about this silly idea of a book," she said softly. "We all know no-one could possibly be interested in our lives."

As her husband still scowled furiously, Maria wished Max would take the hint and leave them alone so that she could soothe Georg the way she knew best.

She held him close until she felt his body start to relax and then she thought of something to distract him.

"Darling do you remember that American film we saw recently 'Gone with the Wind'? Wasn't it terribly romantic the way Rhett picked Scarlett up?"

It worked. Georg snorted. "Pah! I think we can do better than that!" He reached down to put a hand under her knees and scooped her up in his arms in dramatic style.

Maria laughed in surprise. "Stop Georg, what are you doing? Max is here," she scolded reprovingly, ruining the effect with a giggle.

Georg gave her his most rakish smirk. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

Maria laughed again delightedly, but was silenced as her husband leaned down to kiss her. She forgot all about Max once more as she wrapped her arms around Georg's neck, twining her fingers in his hair. She was soon lost in the bliss of the moment.

Max cleared his throat and then sighed as it became clear the other two were only aware of each other. "Right well, I'll just see myself out then, shall I?" He was met with silence, except for Maria's sighs of pleasure.

"Fine, fine, I can see where I am not needed." Max got up to leave, making sure to take a bottle of wine with him.

He closed the door behind him, leaving the oblivious couple inside, locked in a passionate embrace. He wondered how he could get Maria to use her influence to change Georg's mind about the book. If only Georg would see sense and realise they were sitting on a potential goldmine. Who knew, they might all get to go to America one day after all.

He strolled off, his thoughts filled with glamorous American movie stars and a motion picture he was sure would make a pile of lovely money for some lucky producer. It might even be a bigger box office smash than that 'Gone with the Wind' film.

Now, all he had to do was to think of a good title. What about: The von Trapp Family Singers? No, too boring. The Sound of….. Money? Too mercenary, even for him. The Sound of …..Maria? Too schmaltzy.

Well, it would come to him eventually, he decided confidently, whistling merrily.

oooooOOOOooooo

 **A/N: For those of you who have seen 'The Nanny,' was it just me, or did Mr Sheffield seem like Georg to you: same hair, impeccable suits, debonair aristocratic charm? (And fun fact: the actor who played him became a British Baron recently. I guess that is life imitating art.)**

 **I would love to know your thoughts. Thanks for reading.**

I do not own TSOM or The Nanny.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5: "Shall we dance?"**_

Georg sat on the sofa, reading a book and enjoying the peace and quiet of having the children in bed. As much he loved them, he always looked forward to the end of the day when he had Maria all to himself.

He casually stroked Maria's silky hair with one hand as her head lay on his lap. She lay stretched out, engrossed in her own book. Georg glanced down to marvel at the shimmering hues of gold and honey in the soft strands, which were a source of endless fascination for him.

"Darling?" Maria looked up from the large tome of Greek literature that she had been immersed in for the last few evenings.

"Mmm?"

"This is a very interesting play I've been reading by that Greek playright Aristophanes."

"Oh? Which one?"

" _Lysistrata_. It's about-"

"Ah, yes, I know the one. It's where the women of all the Grecian City States refuse their menfolk their sensuous pleasures until the men do what they say. I believe the women were trying to stop the endless war between Athens and Sparta."

"Yes, that's right," Maria said thoughtfully.

Georg looked down to see Maria regarding him speculatively. What was she up to now, he wondered with amusement. "You would never have to use that with me. You already have me wrapped around your delightful little finger," he assured her, taking her hand and kissing the finger in question.

"Well if that is the case, then why are you being so difficult about telling me about the Governesses?"

Georg's mouth twitched. In truth he was no longer averse to telling her, but this had become an enthralling game between them and he was always intrigued to see what lengths she would go to, to get information out of him. So far her efforts had reaped blissful rewards for them both

He could tell she was grappling with ideas in her mind as she plotted a new strategy. This could be interesting, he thought with relish.

He sighed with mock exasperation. "Oh Maria, I've already told you so many stories about those infernal governesses. Surely that is enough?"

"But there were eleven of them, there's still so many to go. What about governess number five for example? I don't know about her."

"And if I refuse to tell you about her?"

"Well then I will take a leaf out of the _Lysistrata_ story and you can forget about any intimacies until you are willing to tell me more."

He held back his laughter. He remembered the play well. It was quite a bawdy romp for a play written in 400 BC. The womenfolk had found abstinence just as vexing as the men, leading to some desperate and amusing escapades. If that was the strategy she planned, he wondered which of them would be the first to give in.

He gave a blasé shrug. "Ah, well, I could do with a rest. As rapturous as our intimate life is, I'm not a teenage boy any more after all." He hid his amusement as his wife looked cross. Clearly that was not the response she was looking for.

He mused idly, "I believe there is a line in the play from the chorus of cantankerous old men lamenting that "Wives are impossible to live with and impossible to live without.""

Then he added, deliberately, infuriatingly, "But if you are looking for a play to be inspired by, might I suggest ' _The_ _Taming_ _of_ _the_ _Shrew_ ' by William Shakespeare?"

Maria made a sound that could have been a snort. "So you think of yourself as Petruchio with a troublesome wife who needs to be made compliant?" she asked indignantly.

Georg merely smiled provocatively and remained silent, enjoying teasing her. He knew full well there was nothing he would change about her, impulsiveness and all. She already knew how much he adored her.

Maria chewed her lip in annoyed silence. "You would be bored to death within a week with a blindly obedient wife," she huffed after a while.

True enough, Georg conceded to himself. Still, a day or two might be quite nice. He merely chuckled and went back to his book, feigning indifference, but not reading a word on the page. He wondered what she would do now that she had thrown down the gauntlet.

He didn't have to wait long. Maria put down her book and stretched sensuously, deliberately and slowly. Then she sat up, and somehow one sleeve of her dress had slipped down her arm, revealing more creamy enticing skin. He pretended not to notice, and continued reading while focusing on taming his body's reaction to her allure.

So, she intended to torment him like in _Lysistrata_ , so that he would be on his knees begging, willing to do anything. Well he could play dirty too, he decided.

He had already discarded his smoking jacket, but now he loosened his tie so that it hung down low from his neck, still knotted. Languorously, he unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt, knowing how appealing Maria always found that. For good measure he unbuttoned another one and slipped a casual hand inside his shirt to stroke his chest absently.

"It's rather warm tonight isn't it?" he murmured nonchalantly, not looking up from his book. He noticed out of the corner of his eyes that she was staring, transfixed, at the column of his throat and the smattering of hair on his upper chest that could be seen by his open shirt.

He kept his mouth from forming a smirk at her flushed cheeks and hitched breath, but he knew better than to underestimate her. He had a worthy opponent.

Maria pulled the book from his hands so she could sit on his lap, She cradled his head as she kissed him, her fingers caressing his hair and neck. "Are you sure you don't want to tell me about another governess tonight, because if you do, we could have an early night afterwards," she murmured seductively with a beguiling smile, in the midst of trailing small kisses along his jaw and neck.

Georg swallowed convulsively. She was damn good at this, he admitted ruefully as he felt her soft mouth on the skin of throat.

He tried to maintain control of his own uneven breath, and faked a composure he didn't feel. "No, darling, I don't think so, I've already told you so many stories already."

Did she really think he was so weak, despite what a temptress she could be? he wondered, affronted. He was made of sterner stuff than that surely? After all he had been an officer of the Imperial Habsburg Navy, who had never surrendered, even as the Empire had crumbled around him.

He could almost hear the male Greek Chorus from _Lysistrata_ compelling him to have fortitude against the women: " _If we give them the least hold over us, 'tis all up! their audacity will know no bounds!"_

Georg added as Maria looked both annoyed and determined, "Besides I really don't think you would like the story of Governess number 5. Her story doesn't have the happy ending that you seem to enjoy so much."

Unfortunately that seemed to pique Maria's curiosity even more. "Oh but you simply have to tell me now," she pleaded.

She trailed a bewitching finger down his chest, halting at his belt, toying with it, and making his heart thud. "Why don't we go upstairs and I could give you a massage?" Maria suggested with a dazzling smile.

With a rapid intake of breath he couldn't suppress Georg swore inwardly and profusely. Now he was really in trouble, he realised, knowing how all their massages usually ended. "A massage sounds marvellous but it's not going to work Maria, I'm stronger than you think," he blustered, knowing it was false bravado.

Maria just gave him one of her confident 'we-shall-see' smiles and took his hand to lead him upstairs.

Minutes later, lying on his front on their bed, feeling the exquisite glide of Maria's hands on the skin of his back, he knew he was perilously close to surrendering for the first time in his life. He glanced surreptitiously at his watch near his head.

Damn it, was it only 30 minutes since she had laid down her challenge?

He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists under his head, trying to gather the remnants of his masculine pride to strengthen his backbone to see him through this torture.

He barely managed to suppress a shudder of intense need as those enchanting hands roamed and caressed.

When he closed his eyes tightly for a moment he could just imagine the entire Greek Chorus from the Lysistrata play suddenly appearing in their bedroom, laughing uproariously and mocking his puny efforts to resist his wife.

Perhaps if he silently recited the Habsburg Officer's Code of Conduct, all twelve volumes of it, it would provide sufficient distraction to his tormented body. Painfully aware of Maria's every movement as she knelt next to him, he gave it a try.

 _An Officer of the Imperial Habsburg Navy always displays courage and valour under fire…_

Goddammit. Maria was bringing out the heavy artillery. He could feel the nip of teeth and the softness of her mouth on the back of his neck, making the fine hairs there stand on end and sending electric pulses through his body.

 _An Officer of the Imperial Habsburg Navy never surrenders even when faced with insurmountable obstacles. The honour and prestige of the Empire rests on his conduct…_

He let loose a string of silent profanities in his head. Maria was now using the equivalent of a lethal depth-charge – the dread of every submariner. Her hands were roaming at will, along with her mouth, pressing hot kisses into the sensitive areas of his back and sending jolts of ferocious longing surging through his entire being.

Through his befuddled senses he heard her soft captivating whisper in his ear. "Why don't you turn around darling?"

He froze in indecision. If he turned over all would be lost. For a moment he pondered his options. Then he did the only thing a brave, fearless Officer of the Habsburg Imperial Navy would do in the face such agonised torment: he pretended to sleep.

He forced himself to breathe evenly; light snores emerged from his mouth and he managed a somnolent grunt for good measure.

There was a long moment of silence and he could almost feel Maria's frustration and disbelief. He pressed his smile into the pillow as he heard her outraged "Ohhh!" as she irritably flounced on to her side of the bed and pulled the covers over herself, thoroughly vexed.

Well he had won that one, he thought wryly. But for the first time he understood the meaning of a pyrrhic victory: a victory that feels like defeat. If only he had surrendered, even now they could be-.

But he clamped down on such thoughts abruptly. It would be difficult enough going to sleep as it was. Eventually his body calmed down enough to fall into a restless sleep, but he was troubled by surreal dreams full of mocking Greek choruses, white flags and Maria doing unspeakably wonderful things to him while reciting the Habsburg Officer's Code .

The next morning he woke up groggy and disgruntled. He deliberately turned his back on the allure of his wife's winsome sleeping form. After asking himself if his pride was really worth this misery he took a brutally cold shower before going downstairs.

If it was any consolation Maria looked as hollow-eyed and irritable as he did, though she hid it well for the children's sake. She was just as tender and loving with them as she usually was. He watched for a moment, still slightly in awe of her mothering skills, and marvelling at her ability to juggle her roles as wife and mother to so many children so seemingly effortlessly. He placed his own surly countenance behind his paper so it wouldn't bother the children but warmly accepted their hugs and kisses as they left for school.

After the cacophony of the children's squabbling and laughter, the dining room seemed painfully silent when Maria came back and sat down to sip her tea in a desultory fashion.

Georg muttered grudgingly from behind his paper, "I am willing to consider an armistice in your little challenge."

Immediately Maria's head appeared above his paper. She could move as silently and quickly as a cat sometimes.

"Oh thank heavens," she gushed with relief. "I couldn't stand it a moment longer. We didn't last nearly as long in _Lysistrata_. That went on for weeks, but the women did stop the war in the end. But it was just awful the way you fell asleep last night in the middle of the massage. I couldn't believe it."

Georg could see the annoyance flashing in her eyes at the memory. He lowered his paper with dignity. He wasn't going to admit that he hadn't been sleeping.

He gave her a patronising little smirk as if he had been the victor. "I am sure I could have lasted a lot longer than…" he looked at his watch, "…. 12 hours, but for your sake I am willing to concede a little," he said generously.

Maria stared at him for a moment. "Oh really?" She raised skeptical eyebrows. "Well I can hold out as long as you can," she replied stubbornly, looking him straight in the eye with a cool little smile and a hint of a tease in her eyes.

Damn and blast, she was calling his bluff, Georg realised, shifting uneasily under her scrutiny. He cleared his throat after a lengthy silence. "What are your terms?"

"Two governess stories and a dance."

"A dance?" he objected in disbelief. "That wasn't quite what I had in mind Maria. Stumbling around to Strauss is the last thing I want to be doing right now," he muttered disagreeably.

"Well I think it's only appropriate that you tell me about Governess number 5 while we waltz. The only thing the children told me about her was that she loved to dance. In fact on the night of the party I found Friedrich and Liesl doing a haphazard polka. They told me later that it was their fifth governess who taught them that."

"Did she indeed? I didn't know that. But I was away a lot in those days so I don't really know what she got up to. But it doesn't surprise me. Like you, she was strong-willed and had difficulty following instructions."

Maria attempted to look indignant but her heart wasn't in it; not when the delicious anticipation was already coiling around them both. The wicked hunger she could see in her husband's eyes was no doubt mirrored in her own as he continued.

"Now, unless you want me to ravish you in the ballroom or right here in the dining room, I strongly suggest we go upstairs now. You can have your waltz later and I will tell you _one_ Governess story."

ooooOOOOoooo

Two hours later, in a profoundly better mood, Georg was willing to give her the story and the dance. Hell, he was willing to give her the stars and moon, he decided buoyantly.

In the ballroom Maria put on Strauss' ' _Tales_ _of_ _Viennese_ _Woods_ ' on the gramophone. After a moment of rhythmic scratching sounds the lovely melody floated in the air.

With aching tenderness he watched as Maria approached him for her dance, then his mouth quirked with humour as he remembered his first sight of her in this very room. He deliberately bowed to her with ridiculously exaggerated flourishes.

She burst into peals of giggles. "I did _not_ do that," she objected to his unspoken teasing, laughing.

"Trust me, this is height of grace and dignity compared to what I saw you doing," he told her dryly. He took her hand and held it against his heart; with the other one around her waist he led her in a waltz.

"Now, let me see. Governess number five was a widow with a young boy, Louis. He was about Friedrich's age. A nice enough boy, and certainly better behaved than my own unruly urchins, though they did try to involve him in all their scrapes. But his mother was very strict with him."

"What was her name?"

"Frau Anna Leonowens. She had lost her husband, a British military officer in battle, but she was very independent. Courageous even. She had been working in the Kingdom of Siam."

"Siam," Maria gasped, intrigued. "Oh how fascinating."

"Mmm, it gets even more interesting. She was the governess to the King of Siam's children." He paused for effect. "All seventy of them."

"Seventy?" Maria echoed in disbelief.

Georg looked at her in amusement, as he whirled her around. "But you like children, Maria."

"Yes, but seventy!" she repeated, aghast.

She looked at him suspiciously, "But how is that even possible?"

"I suppose that is what happens when you have 25 wives and twice as many concubines."

Maria's mouth dropped open in shock. "You're making this up," she accused.

"I assure you I am not. I sailed to many parts of the Orient myself as a young Naval Cadet. Such things are not uncommon, especially among kings." He chuckled as Maria still looked stunned, her mouth agape.

He went on, "I suppose looking after my seven boisterous children was a picnic in comparison. Though, perhaps given my children's behaviour, it must have seemed like there were seventy of them at times."

"What was she like?"

"Frau Anna was very school 'teacherish' which I approved of; quite prim and proper. Her one indulgence was that she wore the most extraordinary hooped skirts, as impractical as they were. It was the sort of thing my grandmother would have worn as a young lady. But Frau Anna insisted on bustling around in such unwieldy garments. I am surprised she did not get stuck in doorways. The girls loved it of course. They thought she dressed like Cinderella at the Ball, but I put my foot down when they wanted similar such skirts themselves."

"Did the children like her?"

"I am not sure. I think they respected her but her strictness made some of them even more rebellious. Whenever the children were naughty she made them write lines. I remember Kurt had to write 'I will not lock my governess in her bedroom,' two hundred times. She put the fear of God into him by threatening he would miss dinner if he didn't complete it."

Maria smiled at the apt punishment for her younger stepson.

"Louisa resented her the most because she had to write lines constantly. Things like: 'I will not put spiders in governess' beds,' and 'I will not put snakes in governess' wardrobes.' It didn't tame Louisa's belligerence but it did keep her occupied."

Georg continued wryly, "Frau Anna was very forthright with me too, she had tendency to lecture me, much to my annoyance. I am sure she would have had me writing lines too if she could. Probably things like 'I will spend more time at home.'"

Maria giggled, imagining her husband writing his lines like a naughty school-boy. "Or what about 'I will not blow my silly whistle' or 'I will not make my children wear uniforms' or-"

"Yes, thank you Maria, I get the idea," he interrupted dryly. Maria laughed and kissed him lovingly as they danced.

Maria remembered something. "The children told me she sang a little song when she taught them to dance. Now how did it go…?" She hummed a tune.

" _Shall we dance?_

 _On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?_

 _Shall we dance?_

 _Shall we then say goodnight and mean goodbye?*_

"And there was another song too, that the children said she sang. She said it would help them when they were feeling frightened. I suppose it was much like the _My_ _Favourite_ _Things_ song. Now how did it go?

 _"_ _I whistle a happy tune_ _  
_ _And every single time_ _  
_ _The happiness in the tune_ _  
_ _Convinces me that I'm not afraid_

 _The result of this deception_ _  
_ _Is very strange to tell_ _  
_ _For when I fool the people_ _  
_ _I fear I fool myself as well**_ _  
_

"I can't remember any more of it," she mused.

"Yes I can recall Brigitte singing that song occasionally, though she always stopped when I was around," Georg admitted, remorsefully.

Maria gave him a sympathetic look, knowing how wretched he felt about banning music from the house and the way he had been with children. She sought to distract him.

"Tell me more about her."

Georg sighed. "There was one time she tried to convince me to find my peace about losing Agathe. She told me the King had forced her to realise that she needed to live again after she lost her husband, for the sake of her son. But it was only two years after I lost Agathe and I was not ready to hear such things. It made me angry."

Maria moved her hand from his shoulder as they continued to waltz, and stroked his neck tenderly. "She would have known your harshness came from your pain. She would have understood."

"Perhaps." Georg shrugged regretfully. "She was right, but it wasn't until a saucy impudent minx burst into my life and forced me to fall in love with her, that I understood what she meant."

"Forced?" Maria protested with a smile.

"Yes forced. You know I didn't stand a chance from the moment you turned those beautiful blue eyes on me and poked infuriating fun at me."

Maria smiled and leaned up to kiss him. "What happened with her?"

"She decided to leave us. Maybe she went back to Siam. Louis had grown very close to the Crown Prince and thought of him as a brother. He was longing to go back to Siam. And Frau Anna, well, it was clear she was nursing a broken heart. Not from anything she said of course, but the pain in her eyes was there to see. As someone with my own heartache I could recognise it."

Maria lifted his hand that was clasping hers against his chest and kissed it. She held it against her cheek in gentle sympathy.

Georg squeezed her hand back. "I am sure it was the King she loved. It was the way she spoke of him with such yearning and anguish."

"But he was married."

"Yes, 25 times over. I doubt anything happened between them. Frau Anna was much too respectable and proper for anything scandalous. It must have been a love that could never be fulfilled, but no less intense for that."

"Oh how sad."

Georg nodded. "Possibly she could have accepted becoming wife number 26 but as a Christian woman it would never have been recognised by the Church; it would have been considered a sin for her. And of course she was a foreigner, and an Englishwoman. The relationship between the British Empire and the Kingdom of Siam is difficult and complicated enough. A marriage between them would have sent shock waves reverberating across several oceans."

"But the British monarchy survived when King Edward VIIIth gave up his throne for the woman he loved."

"True, but then there would still be the small matter of those 25 other wives."

Maria sighed wistfully. "It's so sad. How terrible that Frau Anna and the King could not be together."

"Mmm. She may have been able to find small snatches of happiness, all within the bounds of respectability. She mentioned a grand ball held for diplomats at the Court, where she was able to dance with the King. She spoke of it as one of the happiest times of her life. Perhaps that was enough to give her comfort."

Maria was silent for a while, her heart aching with sadness, and then spoke in a shaky whisper, "Imagine if it had been that way with us. If we only ever had that one dance, the laendler, to express our love and devotion for each other, and it had to last us a lifetime of being apart. I can just imagine her anguish and desperation."

Maria thought back to when the Reverend Mother had forced her to return. If she hadn't, would they too, be facing a lifetime apart, with only the memories of that one dance to comfort them through the long desolate years? She couldn't bear to think about the bleakness of a future without Georg and the children. For a moment she felt an inkling of the despair that Frau Anna and the King must have felt.

Georg stopped mid waltz as he noticed that Maria's eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

"You look pensive, my love." He cupped her face with both hands as the music swirled around them.

"It is so terribly sad: a love that could never find expression. It must have tormented her. She must have been very strong. Do you think she went back to Siam?"

"I don't know. She loved the King's children, all 70 of them. Maybe for her, being with them was enough to give her peace. As for the King, he is a Buddhist after all. Perhaps he believes that in a future life they will find each other again and they will never be apart."

Drawing Maria even closer to him, Georg caught a teardrop with his thumb as it rolled down, caressing the rose-petal softness of her cheek. "I should never have told you this story. I knew it would upset you." He sighed regretfully, and brushed his mouth against her forehead.

"No, it is still a beautiful story. It makes me realise even more how lucky we are to have found each other."

Georg brought her hand up and pressed his mouth to her palm, and then started to waltz once more.

"In an unguarded moment with me, she told me she had one last waltz with the King on the evening before she left Siam. He told her that: "As the sun rises, the moon surrenders the night, but the moon is always with the sun, even when he cannot see her. It is of great comfort to the sun.""

"Oh, that's beautiful," Maria whispered, though her chest still felt heavy with sorrow.

They whirled around in silence for a while, letting the music work its magic, its beauty seeping into their souls and providing Maria with a measure of comfort. She imagined what it would have been like to dance in the King's sumptuous Court.

"Would you want to have 25 wives?" she asked curiously after a while, and a little suspiciously.

Georg sensed a trap but he didn't have to fake his fervent "Oh Good God, no! What a ghastly idea. One wife at a time is definitely as much as I can handle." He had a sudden frightening image of 25 Marias. "I'd be dead within a week," he muttered, provoking a watery smile from Maria.

"Well thank you for telling me another governess story even if we had to both undergo a miserable night before you told me."

"Huh, I was just fine," he denied, glibly, and laughed at Maria's skeptical look.

Maria smiled. "By the way, the next story in the book of Greek classics is by Homer, it's called _Dios apate_ : _The_ _Deception_ _of_ _Zeus_."

She looked puzzled as Georg threw back his head roared with laughter. As the music rose to a crescendo, he lifted her high up above him without missing a step in the waltz.

"What's so funny?" she asked, holding onto his shoulders with a puff of laughter, as he whirled her around above him.

Still chuckling as he looked up at her, he continued the waltz. "It's a comedy about Zeus' wife Hera, disguising herself as another woman in order to seduce her own husband. Go ahead, make my day by reading it. I can't wait."

 **ooooOOOOoooo**

 **A/N: I am basing Anna mostly on Jodie Foster's gorgeous portrayal in ' _Anna_ _and_ _the_ _King_ ' rather than the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical ' _The_ _King_ _and_ _I_.'**

 **Thank you for reading and I would love to know your thoughts.**

* _Shall we dance?_ Music and lyrics by Rodgers and Hammerstein.

** _I whistle a happy tune._ Music and lyrics by Rodgers and Hammerstein.

Julie Andrews has recorded the soundtrack of the _King_ _and_ _I_ with Ben Kingsley, which can be found on youtube. As usual whenever I hear Julie sing I cannot listen to any other version after that.

I do not own TSOM, or _Anna_ _and_ _the_ _King_ , or _The_ _King_ _and_ _I_.


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